How to run a one-on-one meeting
A good one-on-one belongs to the other person. Here is how to prepare it, run it and close it, and how to tell afterward whether you listened as much as you think.
Key takeaways
- Let the other person own the agenda, and bring one topic of your own at most.
- Ask what they need before you answer.
- When you don’t know, say who will find out and by when.
- Close by saying back every commitment: who, what and by when.
Agree on what it is for
A one-on-one is not a status meeting. Status fits in a message. The one-on-one is for what doesn’t: a decision someone is stuck on, a worry, feedback in both directions, the next step in someone’s work.
Keep a shared list of topics that either of you can add to between meetings, and hold the meeting at the same time every week or two. If it has to move, move it rather than cancel it: a cancelled one-on-one tells the other person where they rank.
Start with their agenda
Open with a question that hands them the floor, such as “What’s on your mind this week?”, and then wait. A few seconds of silence often brings the topic that matters. Take their items first, and bring yours at the end.
Ask what they need before you answer
When someone asks for your view, a plan or a decision, the fastest way to a useful answer is to ask what they need it for. The reply usually turns a vague request into a concrete target: a date instead of an estimate, one owner instead of a team.
Questions that get real answers
- What’s taking more of your time than it should?
- Where are you stuck, and what have you tried?
- What would make next week easier?
- Is there anything you’re waiting on from me?
- What should I start, stop or keep doing?
Ask one, then follow the answer with “What do you mean?” or “Which part?” before moving to the next. The second question is where the real answer usually is.
When you don’t know, say so, with a date
“Let’s see” and “I think” leave the other person with nothing to plan around. If you don’t know yet, say so plainly, then say who will find out and by when.
- Say plainly when there is no owner or estimate yet.
- Name who will find out, and by when.
- Then add what you own, if it helps.
Close with owners and dates
In the last minutes, say back what was agreed: who does what, and by when. Say it out loud, so the other person can correct it. A commitment without a date is a wish; mark it and ask for the date.
- Send the clause wordingYou · Committed to Tom · Tonight
- Bring the first floor numberTom · Committed to you · The 25th
- Ask Priya to free time for JonasYou · Committed to Tom · Vague
Afterward, check yourself
Most managers believe they listen more than they do. After the meeting, ask yourself three things:
- Who did most of the talking? In a one-on-one, it should usually be the other person.
- Which questions did I answer with something nearby instead of the answer?
- Did every commitment get an owner and a date?
A recording answers all three without guessing. MasterTells gives you the share of the talk, the moments worth a second look, and your tells across every one-on-one, each backed by what was said.
